10 Days of Gratitude - Day Nine

I can still remember as a child, going to the grocery store with my Mom and five siblings and hearing the cashier ask in an incredulous tone, "Are all those yours?"

I remember feeling a little affronted since her tone seemed to convey that we children were a burden, but my Mom's reply always made everything right.

"Yes, they are," my Mom would say with pride in her voice.  In those three words, I felt very distinctly that we were not burdens, but rather chosen blessings in her life.  That was such a blessing to know.

At times, being a self centered child, I felt frustrated that I had to share my parent's wealth with my siblings and I would sometimes wish out loud that I was an only child, because THEN I would finally have all the material things I wanted.  My poor siblings.  I had no idea at the time how incredibly awful that sounded to them.  I didn't really mean to wish them away, I just meant that I wished we were rich and could afford all the luxuries I wanted. (I find it interesting now, that I didn't want more attention, just things!) 

As I got older though, I realized how grateful I was that I never got my wish.  I remember having friends who had no siblings, and feeling sorry for them.  Our house was always full of noise, love, laughter, someone to play with, someone to talk to.  Of course, we fought and argued, but we always quickly made up.  No one ever held a grudge for longer than a few hours. It was wonderful growing up in such a house!

I feel like I got placed perfectly- the third child of six, with two older sisters and three younger brothers.  As a small child, I was closest to my next oldest sister, and my next younger brother. 

But when I started sharing a room with both my sisters when I was in junior high, I got closer to my oldest sister.  I had the huge privilege of getting to go to high school with both of my older sisters and we had a blast!  They even let me hang out with them and put up with all my hormonal drama! That was probably the best year of my life, up to that point.  I had two built-in best friends who were everything to me.

Over the next few years, as my older sisters graduated and then moved away, it was almost like a piece of me was missing.  I missed them so much, it was a physical pain. Just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes.  It was inconceivably difficult to be separated from my two best friends. A few years later, my oldest sister moved back in with us after having health problems on her mission and we were able to bond again.  I loved having my sister back.  We went to college together,  went to dances, and she always let me hang out with her and her boyfriends, even when I was a total immature pest!  

I had by then become even closer to my next youngest sibling, and was starting to develop more of a relationship with my two youngest brothers as well.  At least, a more positive relationship, since I'd been quite a bit of a horrible older sister, treating them like pests over the years.  I still remember "babysitting" them, and whenever they fought, I would just scream at them to "Stop fighting!"  I had no patience for them and I feel so bad that I didn't make a more concerted effort sooner to be a better sister. 

And then my oldest sister got married as well.  By that time, I was more accustomed to being left behind.  I still really missed her, but I was happy she had found a wonderful husband.  She had given me a charge to help my younger brothers, and I considered what she said and took it to heart.

I had a few years before I got married to really enjoy getting to know my younger brothers better and I liked what I saw! I no longer saw them as pests, but as intelligent, loving and forgiving human beings.   I was able to see that my 2nd youngest brother was a brilliant kid, who was fascinating to talk to.  I could see that my youngest brother had musical talent coming out his ears and had a funny sense of humor.  I grew to love them so much as we spent more time together.  It was a huge blessing to have those few years with them since I was older, a young adult and able to have more patience and just enjoy them.  I felt the responsibility as the oldest child in the house to keep the siblings together and we had a lot of fun times, playing games together and just talking.  

It was so neat when a few years later I was able to go to college with my brother who is just two years younger than I.  We had a blast, and he was so good for me, always encouraging me to reach outside my comfort zone and reach out to others more.  I appreciated that so much!  We had some awesome times as we made new friends and I met my future husband, as well.  It was a blessing that my brother was able to be there as all of those events transpired.  Especially since he left on his two year mission just a few months later.

I am so blessed that I got to grow up with five built in best friends.  We used to comment that we thought we chose each other in heaven, because how else were we so lucky to have each other?  I feel so deeply blessed, words can't describe how having five amazing and very different from myself, siblings has helped me to grow so much! 

I can still remember one day as a teenager, when I was feeling really upset, I didn't realize back then it was hormones, but I felt so frustrated and just blech, and back then, when I felt that way, I took it out on my family.  I would rant and rave and get all upset.  Well, my siblings had left to go to the store and I stayed behind for some reason.  That night they gave me a card they had bought me, telling me they hoped I felt better.  I remember getting tears in my eyes, knowing they forgave me so readily and loved me so much.  How can anyone be so blessed to live in a household like that?  I don't think I deserved it, but it sure helped me to grow, and I am ever grateful for that kind of kindness and unconditional love I received from my siblings.  I am so grateful that families can be forever.