Lunch Date

I was at the bus stop when my friend Molly said she was going to go and have lunch with her son at school that day and I was welcome to come if I wanted to have lunch with Noah. My first thought was "No way, I do not want to bring Amalie and Gabriel." And my second negative thought was "Noah doesn't deserve it anyway." I had told Noah that I would give him money for a school lunch if he would write in his journal ten times. And he had said he really wanted to do it, but so far had only done it once, even though he could have been finished already. But as I walked home from the bus stop, I realized that my relationship with Noah is really lacking. It has been hard with a third child, Noah in school all day and his increase in responsibilities. I feel that my teaching him responsibility has created a bit of a wedge between us. Not because of the responsibility, but because of how I have carried it out. This year my goals have been to transfer the responsibilities of preparing a lunch for school and homework over to Noah. I am HOPING that by the end of the year, he will fully take them over, but it is a long and slow process and I need to be more patient. I have had the mind set that I will only remind him once after school and once in the morning (if he hasn't done it) and then I need to just let go and let him deal with the consequences. But it's not that simple- because every time he doesn't do homework and lunch, I get frustrated and then I start to nag. So . . . I am also a work in progress.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that this was an opportunity to build my relationship with Noah. So I called the school, asked if I could bring my children and with a Yes from the school, then called my friend and told her I would like a ride. I waited outside the lunchroom for Noah's class to show up. I wasn't sure how he would react- sometimes when I try to do nice things for him, it backfires. But when he saw me, his face just LIT UP. It was so wonderful. He was so excited that Gabriel, Amalie and I had come to have lunch with him. He was also excited that he got to buy a school lunch! (Always exciting for someone who always brings lunch from home) We grabbed our chocolate milks, lunch trays and sat down with Noah's friends.

I sometimes think that Noah may be embarrassed of me, I guess because my last memories of living at home and being in school are of high school, when I would probably not have been thrilled if my Mom came for lunch. But Noah was proud of me and the children in his class,were thrilled when I talked to them. They absolutely ate up the attention I gave them. They loved seeing baby Gabriel and Amalie too. After school, Noah told me that a bunch of girls came up to him and said "Your baby sister is so cute!"

As we were eating, I noticed that some of the older students were helping out in the lunch room. I found out that the fifth and sixth graders have the opportunity to work in the lunch room. I love that idea and was thrilled that the school was giving the kids a chance to develop a good work ethic. I was also able to feel extreme gratitude for the teachers and aides at the school. I especially felt grateful for the lunchroom aide, because honestly the combination of that many kids and food would be a nightmare for me to be in charge of. Thank goodness we all have different talents and likes!

It was such a wonderful experience. I was so THRILLED I had the opportunity to surprise Noah and have lunch with him. I really felt like it changed our relationship. Noah really felt loved and it helped me to look at him with a more eternal perspective.