Food for the Soul

I had an epiphany last night as I was praying to overcome my compulsive eating.  I seem to be in tune with my body most of the day, but when night comes, and the stresses of dinner, clean up and bedtime are upon me; I find myself eating until I am super uncomfortably full.  I hate that feeling.  And even worse, I hate knowing I am abusing this wonderful body entrusted to me by my Father in heaven. 
 
I have prayed about this issue many times and each time I have had a peaceful feeling that I will overcome this particular weakness. That feeling has buoyed me up when I find myself falling over and over again.  And then last night I had a wonderful epiphany. 

I was stressed last night and being ornery with the children and even Brad, and felt that I needed to write in my journal, which I hadn't done for a week.  I have discovered that I am a "writer" which has nothing to do with being published but everything to do with the fact that I have to write to figure out all my thoughts and feelings that seem to be in a big jumbled mess until I write them down.  It always gives me a clearer perspective and I feel like I can breathe easier.  It's not that I necessarily "want" to write, I have to write, or I feel as though I will explode with all those thoughts, emotions and feelings all floating around, looking for a place to land.

After writing in my journal and saying a prayer to understand what it was my spirit needed in that moment to gain strength to be around my family again, I had a clear thought that the times I overeat are when my spirit needs "food."

Wow.  I sat in awe as I twirled this thought around in my mind and pondered upon it and the implications of this truth.

How powerful that knowledge is to me!  I don't feel that I am in tune with my spirit and what its needs are.  I try to feed it with all the Sunday school answers, but as far as me personally?  I am still learning what my particular needs are.  But to know that when I feel like shoving food in my mouth, I can simply stop and take a moment to be introspective; to pray and try to understand what it is at that moment my soul needs.  I forget at times that my spirit is a living thing and I must keep it nourished, the nourishing that I as an individual need.  I feel so empowered to overcome this weakness!

I know it will be a process to become in tune with the needs of my spirit, and of course, my needs will change depending on the season of life I am in, but in this instance, knowledge is power.  I can overcome this, I finally know how.