Postpartum Musings

My Mom is an absolute angel. She has been here all week - and now I know she is truly SuperMom. Not only does she cook delicious meals every night, she also does my laundry, cleans my house and takes care of my kids. I honestly don't know what I would do without her. I truly forgot how "helpless" I would be after having a baby. I didn't quite remember how very little I can do the first week and how suddenly my body will scream out that I have overdone it, when I haven't even done 15% of what I used to do! And then I am hurting and bleeding excessively and feeling discouraged- as though I will never recover.

But then as I talk to my Mom, I realize that there will come a day when suddenly I feel better and I will be able to do more than I have been doing. I have to remember all that my body has been through- and is now expected to do- it is crazy the sacrifices woman make for their children- we carry them for nine months (or really 8.5), then give labor and somehow that baby that looks so tiny, doesn't seem so tiny when you think of the pathway it had to go through to come out- then after that exhausting ordeal we start breastfeeding and it's one more thing to add to the list of Hurt- then we start waking every two hours to feed the beautiful little one and basically taking care of their EVERY need because they can't do anything- and you add that all to what was already on your plate. Sometimes I wonder why Heavenly Father made it such a trial- and I think I have some clue- It takes sacrifice to love someone- and after all this, I deeply love this new little one.

I can sit for hours and just stare at him- it is like having a new crush, I just can't get enough. Friday night we found out he had excessive bilirubin levels and had to be in a Bili Bed in our room- he was in there for over twelve hours, and I was only supposed to take him out to feed him, burp him and for diaper changes. My heart was hurting that I couldn't just tote him around the house or just sit and stare at him. And that wasn't even a full day! My heart went out to all the new moms who have to leave their babies in the hospital. But all that sacrifice just brings about so much love. It also gives others an opportunity to serve us. I have been surrounded by sweet angels constantly helping me- my sweetheart Brad has been constantly doing everything he can for our family and little Amalie is so eager to help. If she hears me say the baby needs a diaper change, she runs and brings me a diaper and wipes. Even Noah, when he heard that I needed to sit down after walking around so long for Family pictures, was doing everything to cater to my every need. He brought me a snack and some water, then a pillow and some blankets. It was just so sweet.

And honestly I would do it all over again for my three precious little ones- they are so WORTH it!