Rejuvenating

Dear Noah & Amalie,
I'm sorry I haven't been the Momma you needed the past few weeks. I hadn't realized how self absorbed I had become until I was reading a parenting book last night, entitled "Raising Up a Family to the Lord" by Gene R. Cook. It talked about gauging your progress as a parent and one of the ways in which to gauge is to determine if your children want to be around you. I was almost in tears as I realized that the past few days you both have been spending the better part of your days with your friends. I realize in part, that's normal. But I also realize that I have not been living up to my potential as a mother.

I have been very adept in teaching you both to clean and cook for yourself, but I have not been playing with you. The little stresses of life have been getting me down and I have neglected an important part of our relationship.

This morning, I knew something had to give. Normally, it kills me to give up our schedule for the day, but today it had to go. After having breakfast, reading the scriptures and quickly tidying up the house, we left for a walk on the River Trail.

As we walked past Eli and Kyah's houses, you begged to invite your friends. I told you both that I really wanted to have some time with my kids. I think it made you feel good.

The closer we got to the river trail, the cooler it got. I asked where you wanted to go. Noah immediately answered, "The swing!" So we went to the swing. It took me a little while to get into Play mode, but soon, we were skipping stones, wading in the river, crawling in the tunnel, swinging on the swings, climbing trees and playing Berenstain Bears.

I appreciate so much your childlike curiosities, your need to explore and play and laugh like crazy. It is sometimes hard as an adult, to let all the stresses go and just PLAY. But play we did and I soon remembered that it's fun to wade in frigid water, to feel the dirt beneath my wet feet, to smell the earth, hear the rocks go "Thwack" as they hit the water, feel the bumpy tree trunks underneath my body as we sit in the trees. I love it and I love you. Thank you for showing me how to play and that life is not all about work, but sometimes it is not only good, but necessary to enjoy God's creations in a child like manner.

I hope you always know that I am Honored to be,
Your Momma
P.S. Remember how Gabe fell asleep in his stroller? That was when you really got your momma. We played and laughed and had a rip roaring time.