Sometimes

Sometimes I miss my family so much that there is a physical ache, a lump in my throat and tears threatening to spill from my eyes.  Even though I love and adore my family that I built with my sweet husband, and my four darling children, sometimes I think of my childhood days with my family and it just hurts.  I will never get those days back again, and I miss them profoundly.

When my mom was here, helping our family adjust to baby Andre and all the changes a new baby brings, we talked about this.  Tears came to both of our eyes as we expressed how deeply we missed it.

My Mom expressed how much she missed having her children.  We are all grown up and though life holds even more joy with grandchildren and more daughters and sons (in law) to love, she misses those days when we were little.  I miss them too.

But it got me to thinking that I need to savor these days with my children more deeply; drink them in, because I know I will miss them profoundly when they are all grown up and no longer my babies.

I am going to choose to savor instead of stress about inconsequential things that I will never remember in twenty years, let alone a year from now.

I am going to savor that my kids still come in every morning to greet me, looking for my hugs and my love and their baby brother.

I am going to savor that they want to talk to me and tell me all kinds of things that I don't really have interest in.

I am going to savor their laughter and their silly jokes.

I hope that someday, after this life, my memories of these days and of my childhood will come back in full force and soothe my longings, and so I will do my best to savor these precious moments and hope that someday I will be able to savor these wonderful memories.